Thread:Boonerski/@comment-24142271-20160120035754/@comment-6516967-20160207064006

I know it's not my place to judge other people's work but if I may I have few suggestions:

I think there are too much "then" and "says"; try to focus more on the actual scene and not the dialogue and make it so that it doesn't get too overwhelming for the readers. Like, you don't have to emphasize everything that is going on in the scene and just focus on the aftermath while explaining a bit of the background, otherwise it'll defeat the purpose of what a summary is.

I don't see anything wrong with your grammar but try to put quotations on words like "poop", since they kinda sounds 'informal'. The same goes for adding the suffix "-chan", I don't think it's necessary to add that to the character's name if were making a summary (unless you're putting up a quotations but that's not the kind of format I'm following).

TL;DR: Great effort! Just needs some polishing here and there.

Also, last suggestion. Maybe make a separate page for each chapter. They're like 9 chapters on the series and compiling them on the same page would be a bit jarring to look at...

And for the ending of the LN: That's fucked up.

Also we need to move to a separate thread by now since the topic we are talking at this point is no longer relevant to the topic of this thread.